Making Good Choices

How do I get a fresh start when my circumstances won’t change? This is a common question when grappling with loss and grief.

In my last post, we explored the value of taking inventory. We also looked at the importance of making a choice, of answering the question: “What am I going to do about it?” 

There are still other choices we need to make.

Choose: What to Do with Worry

One frequent battle is to choose to give my worry over to God. This kind of choice is usually not a once-and-done thing. It’s something I express with some frequency. “God, I can’t handle this. I lay it at your feet again. Please carry this burden for me. Please carry me!”

Choose: Prayer

I’ve felt such challenges in communicating with God. Grief suddenly impacted my language skillset. Finding no words, I would communicate in groans, screams, or much crying. I’m so grateful that the Spirit intercedes for me in expressing myself to my Heavenly Father (Romans 8:26).

Choose: My Posture Toward God

The lyrics of the song Amadeo (Still My God) by Ryan Stevenson aptly describes the posture of my heart toward God:

God, I love you
God, I trust you
Through all this

You’re still my God!

Job, who suffered immense, unimaginable losses, had some powerful words: “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him (Job 13:15, NKJV)!”

One very authentic prayer inspired by Mark 9:24 is: “God, I trust you. Oh, and would You please increase my ability to trust you more? Lord, help my unbelief.”

Choose: God’s Peace

There’s a powerful byproduct when I make two choices together. When I choose to pray and I choose to partner with God, the byproduct is peace. It’s a supernatural peace that’s not connected to circumstances, but is connected to a person—Jesus Christ, God’s Son.

This peace is the birthright of every Christian!

God wants us to experience His peace. He’s standing at the door knocking, gently bidding you to open the door and invite Him into the complex and painful place you find yourself (Revelation 3:20). Dear one, open the door and let Him in. He offers a peace that passes understanding (Philippians 4:7).

Choose: A Path of Faith

Am I going to run from God, shaking my fist at Him? Or am I going to run toward God and lean into Him with every ounce of my being? I’ve chosen the latter.

I’m encouraged by Jerry Sittser, an author who recounts the tragic loss of three family members in a single car accident caused by a drunk driver. Instantly, he became acquainted with the terrible darkness of grief. He realized that the path of faith meant to intentionally “walk into the darkness rather than try to outrun it,” and decided to “embrace [his] grief and to be transformed by [his] suffering” rather than to think he could dodge his sorrow.

I too chose to lean into God while walking directly into the darkness rather than attempting to escape it.

The choice to face the darkness head-on, instead of running from it, takes fortitude, but I continue to cling to the words in Isaiah 41:10 (NIV): “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and help you.”

Choose: To Inform my Heart

The head and the heart are only about 18 inches apart physically, but they struggle to be on the same page!

I’ve become very aware that I need to intentionally guide my own heart. My head knows what God’s promises are to me, but my heart is full of big emotions, and there’s considerable dissonance there.

Here are some ways I literally talk to my own heart:

“Heart, despite how you’re feeling, God has not abandoned you!”

“Heart, despite that overwhelming emotion, God has promises of coming good and bringing beauty from ashes.”

“Heart, He is with you in the midst of this storm, even though He isn’t stopping the storm.” 

“Heart, in the midst of your sorrow, God shares in your sadness; He collects your tears in His bottle.”

Keeping myself in God’s Word and clinging to His promises have been essential keys to guiding my heart. As Pastor Glen often reminds us, “As believers, we do not live on explanations; rather, we live on God’s promises.”

Until next week, I leave you with homework! After taking inventory of your past, reflect on the choices you’re making. What things are you going to choose to do differently going forward? 

Will you—like me—choose:

• to depend on God?
• what to do with worry?
• to pray?
• your posture toward God?
• His peace?
• a path of faith?
• to inform your heart?

Stay tuned! Next week we’ll look at keeping our eyes on the finish line! Be encouraged. There can be a fresh infusion of hope in the midst of your own situation.

Written by Shauna Caldwell