He Walks With Me

In the summer of 2021, I had a strong conviction to spend time with my family. I was thinking lockdowns and restrictions were coming again but little did I know what God really meant. My family spent time visiting friends, enjoying summer activities (like Heritage Park) and going to movies and restaurants. For a short season life was good. And then our world changed. We got sick, so sick that my wife Cynthia ended up in the hospital.

In the middle of the night on October 13, the hospital called to say that I needed to come immediately because Cynthia was fading fast. When I arrived I didn’t know what to do. In the wee hours of the morning I reached out to Jason Caldwell who came to the hospital and also called Pastor Bruce and Melody Daze. I was very fortunate that Pastor Bruce was able to provide a final prayer of peace and rest in those last minutes before Cynthia left this earth.

Since that moment my life has never been the same.

The prayer warriors who had been standing with us switched their focus from praying for Cynthia’s healing to requesting comfort and strength for myself and my son Elijah.

The initial shock effected each of us differently. My brain gravitated toward what needed to be done. Elijah (with his autism) did not show tears but he knew both spiritually and intellectually where his mom was. His sadness came out later in acts of frustration.

I never did see him cry, but he would often put his arm around my shoulder when I was crying to show “he knew.” I consider myself and Elijah so very fortunate to have so many friends and church family who came and comforted us. People shared hugs and brought food, even more food than we needed!

One night, I remember God sending the Holy Spirit. It was like hundreds of people hugging me at the same time and I experienced an overwhelming sense of comfort.

I didn’t know it at the time but God had plans to use me.

I was surprised when God inspired me to write Cynthia’s eulogy. Ideas and thoughts popped into my head and I found myself searching the scriptures and watching good inspirational Christian videos. While I had insomnia the night before the funeral, God, in His good graces, provided me with the strength to deliver the message.

The Covid protocols at the time restricted many people from coming so the service was recorded and livestreamed and I was reminded that what Satan plans for evil, God can use for good. This blessing allowed many of my non-believing friends and co-workers to hear a gospel message without setting foot in a church. On top of that, long-time friends came to the service, as well as a handful of my co-workers. I pray they heard the message that there is hope for those who know Jesus.

A week or so later God sent me a dream and in that dream I saw Cynthia wearing a white coat. When she smiled, I saw jewels and chains of gold. I experienced a great peace as if she was saying, “I’m good” and ‘it’s great to see you.” This was a very clear message to me from God saying, “I have her. All is well.” I already knew she was in heaven, but from that day on “I really knew!” God granted me the peace I needed to have the complete confidence that I will see her again with all the other saints.

Early on someone advised me not to make rash life decisions at this time but rather to proceed with existing plans, if they still make sense. Cynthia and I were having a house built in Chestermere and so I began the arduous process of preparing for a move.

Our old home was a disaster – cluttered, messy, and embarrassing. So, the ladies from RMCC came and assisted with the clean up. I am so thankful there are kind souls with this ministry on their hearts. Boxes of things needed to be sorted and thrown out while nicer things were given away. During this great purge I would often stop and have a good cry. Even today as I write this, despite having peace and knowing where Cynthia is, I tear up from that sting.

Amazingly, we sold our old home just when the market was going up and once again, it was God’s timing. We had 61 requests for showings and I received 15 offers within 38 hours of listing. I continue to shake my head in wonder that God provided that blessing!

Elijah and I finally moved into our new Chestermere home on a cold February 1. At one point during this time of transition, Elijah said to me, “Dad, I feel like my life is so hopeless.”

It was like a warning bell went off in my head.

I immediately began to make concerted efforts to bring him to the Friday night youth group at RMCC. This ministry is so valuable. It provided Elijah with activities, good messages, and new friends. I also began the search for additional extra circular activities for Elijah. I was able to find a Christian Aide who has enabled Elijah to engage in activities and life lesson support each week that helps with social interaction, exercise, and even fiscal responsibility.

I knew Elijah needed more so I continued to search. I stumbled upon a post-secondary program for people with autism between 18-30. The program has some pre-requisites and in order to qualify I needed to bring Elijah’s academic level up. So he is now plugged into Sylvan Learning and this plus the quality time he spends with his aide and at the youth group on Fridays and at church on Sundays, makes for a very meaningful weekly schedule for Elijah. An additional bonus for me in all this was the opportunity to start attending men’s prayer at RMCC on Tuesday mornings, something I had wanted to do for a long time.

Only God could have coordinated all these events and blessings.

I have learned a lot in this time including when I visit friends and family I now very conscientiously make sure to be there in the moment and enjoy the company. I am very grateful for all those the Lord has brought into my life and for those who have prayed for Elijah and myself. The Lord has heard your petitions and provided peace. There is more healing and more adjustments ahead for this single dad, but I know my Lord walks with me. I pray He has a ministry lined up for us and some good friends for Elijah. I know He does.

Written by Erich Krause

“And the LORD, He is the One who goes before you. He will be with you, He will not leave you nor forsake you; do not fear nor be dismayed (Deuteronomy 31:8).”